no more buns

Buns baked: In exces of 700
Domestic Goddi remaining: 1

Hello. Helen here. Welcome to our farewell blog.

I’m sipping a black tea and munching on some beautiful florentines – a gift from our great stage manager Amy. How did she know I adore florentines?

Well, we had our final show today. A full house with my dad sat at the front, nearly falling off his seat laughing at Rosie’s dried-up old teacher. Rosie has headed off southwards in today’s unusually pleasant weather. I’m all packed up, ready to leave tomorrow morning. It feels very strange to be leaving this place. Continue reading

DOMESTIC GODDI ********

BUNS BAKED: too many for us successful comediennes to be counting. (give or take 277)
CHARITY DVD’S FILMED: 1
SELL OUT SHOWS: Most
BATMAN DRESSES BOUGHT: 1
BOOK FESTIVAL TALKS ATTENDED: 1. (Yes I am multi faceted person. Also I am clever, honest)
FOUR AM BEDTIMES: 1

Hello, Rosie Wilkinson here from Domestic Goddi at the Edinburgh festival. The last week of our Edinburgh run. Is there an outside world? Is it not the norm for people to wander the streets in period costumes giving out leaflets?
Is everything in life not judged on a one to five star review system? I have decided to use the one to five star rating for all elements of my life.
Last night’s bath: **** plus a pick of the fringe nomination.
I give Helen a  luke warm *** for her role as ‘my friend’ just because I am feeling a bit sadistic. No other reason. Tomorrow I may give her a whopping ***** WOW imagine! OOOh the power. Maybe if she brought me breakfast in bed, that would push her into the five star catagory.
I am going to give the weather a ruinous * lone star.
London I give no stars to as I have forgotten what it’s like there.

Oh dear herein lies maddness or madness lies. Madness I give **stars because it’s a bit unnerving, in a bad way.
OOH we filmed a few sketches for an Oxfam Unwrapped DVD yesterday which was great fun. Charity really is comedy gold!
We had a good night out last night at a special tribute ‘Late and Live’, the baptism of fire for many comedians. It is a very robust atmosphere of drunken lairiness. One comedian was verbally abused by the audience and then carried off stage, one had an encore and one act was interrupted by another act who was  drunk. Most entertaining.

Good news! We have a new visitor, Helen’s cousin, the lovely Leah Wong. She is such a great person to have around. She has just arrived and was totally unphased when faced with a bowl of over cooked, reheated pasta. I think her sparkle  will reignite our appetite for the festival. Though tonight I am staying in!

that vintage smell

Buns baked: 423
vintage dresses bought: 3

Hello. Helen here.
Rosie’s mum’s staying here with us and has been taking on the lion’s share of baking, which is lovely. Chris from the venue (the one with a passion for fondant icing) thought that there were a lot of WeighWatchers in our audience today, as the full bun quota was not eaten. WeightWatchers or not, they were a lovely lot. Continue reading

Roy Walker’s Knee

Buns baked: 374
Icing varieties used: 4

Hello. Helen here.
So I waited in the Pleasance Courtyard to see if there’d be room for me to sneek into Flanders and Swann. Roy Walker was doing the same. I gave him a smile. He said hello. We went in. I sat beside him but declined the very kind offer of a spot on his knee. After a very enjoyable show and a little chat with Roy, he said “Very nice to have met you.” Now the music was quite loud and I didn’t quite catch the phrase he’d spoken. So I replied, “Yes.” I promise I wouldn’t generally be so arrogant as to proudly agree with a former game show host that it was, indeed, very nice for him that he had met me. I must try and bump into Jim Bowen and try out my bald-faced pride on him.

Later on, I was in a toilet queue, chatting with a woman I recognised, thinking that maybe we had worked together at Tescos. But no, it was Holy Mary from Phoenix Nights. I must work harder to delineate reality from fantasy.

The show which takes place after ours in the Pleasance Cellar is called Alpha Males. Nicely menu’d next to Domestic Goddi, no? Well, you know the embarrassingly theatrical phrase, “break a leg”? Poor Alpha Male took it literally and broke his leg in two places on stage. We send him our best wishes. We have ages to take down our show now. It’s an ill wind… Continue reading

Cold nights & Dark Knights

Buns baked: 190
Day of torrential downpour: 2

Helen here.
Ooh, Christian Bale doesn’t half have a good mouth for Batman.

My God, the weather. Such a lot of water came from the skies above every single minute of the last two days. I felt bad for our poor street team (the beautiful little things who give out flyers for our show). This morning’s pale sunshine was more welcome than a Confederate at a lynching. (Sorry about that – I’ve been watching Ken Burns’ The American Civil War on DVD and it does creep into your consciousness like molasses.)

Continue reading

Lavender plant apology

Tuesday 5th August
Buns baked: 145
Apology gifts received: 2

Hello. Helen here.
My second apology gift came from Rosie’s contrite boyfriend after he had erroneously taken my home-made chicken stock (from the boiled carcass of yesterday’s rather nice roast) to be unwanted fat and discarded it in order to wash the pan. He gave me a gorgeous lavender plant. Now, that’s what I call an apology gift. Never mind your ’80s, KP chocolate-flavoured snack-in-a-pot. Continue reading

soggy sombreros

BUNS MADE: TOO MANY. I have bakers arm, leg, elbow, finger and worst of all baker’s ear.

SHOW: SOLD OUT today and yesterday.

WEATHER: A wash out.

MOOD IN OUR FLAT: More settled. I think this is because we now have dried oregano and ‘Lea and Perrins’ sauce in our sticky, ex student condiment cupboard.

Continue reading

Domestic Goddi, Part Two…

Saturday 2nd August
buns baked: 95
shins bruised: 1

Perhaps I should explain the bun count. We have a lovely iced bun on our poster and flyer (note it is not a muffin, it is a bun), so we thought it’s be a nice gesture to bake buns to give out to either prospective or paid-up audience members. So far they’re going down a treat. No wonder really – it’s my very own Victoria sponge recipe (I always cream the sugar and margarine before adding the eggs and flour….I really do think that’s the secret). So, every other day, our flat becomes a little bakery. Continue reading

Domestic Goddi – getting here

buns baked: 70
mouse holes covered: 2

Some people walk, some people fly but we drove up in a air-conless little Peugot of hotness. We stopped off at the historic crooked-spired market town of Chesterfield, being fed steak and Sicilian orange cake by Rosie’s mum.

The delight of seeing how gorgeous our Edinburgh flat is was quickly usurped by Rosie’s sense of anxiety at the thought of having to eventually, at some point, leave the place. The ceilings are high, really high…really, really high. You can fit two and a third Rosies or three whole Helens up the wall.We’ve got three pantries, seven lamps, four bun trays and one Poldark novel. Continue reading